I'm in the mood to write a blog post back yeay!
Untuk yang kali ini, gue nonton sama sahabat gue. We are Exo L. Bisa dibilang begitu. Tapi kita multifandom banget sih. hehehe.
I post what i like. LOVE!
Kadang sendirinya masih suka bingung kalo ditanya cita citanya mau jadi apa. Tapi kalo gambaran nanti masa depannya mau seperti apa, itu pasti udah punya banget.
I want to live in Bali, in a secluded place, all by myself, and have peace. Not getting married, just paint, dance, paint, dance, and paint again. And maybe a little bit of fangirl.
Kenapa? It's not that I want to ngerepotin orang tua atau gak sayang sama orang tua. It's just that, I want to live in peace. Udah muak sama dunia yang semakin gak jelas ini, dan orang orangnya pun semakin muna. Saya sudah tidak tahan lagi dengan kehidupan yang membuat saya sedih.
Jadi anda mau jadi pelukis dan penari bali saja? Kuliah gak?
Well, rencana untuk kuliah pasti ada. Barulah setelah itu bisa merantau.
Tapi kalo ditanya guru, cita cita nya apa, ya yang hanya saya bisa jawab adalah "menjadi orang yang semakin bahagia di dunia dan akhirat"
Hahahahahaha
When the sky is really blue in my head
When the sun shines so brightly
When I could sleep peacefully without any sounds
When I could smile and laugh without any sadness
When your sky is getting darker and darker
When your sun is hiding behind the bombs
When you couldn't even sleep peacefully
Afraid of being shot every second
When your eyes are so red because you always cry seeing your family gone one by one
I am so sorry for my mistakes
I don't even know that it would turn out this way
I feel really really bad after i thought about it again
But there's one thing that you need to know
I am not here to give up
Because i love you when i can't even say that straight to you but i am trying to do it
Love you.
-K-
I like this song by big baby driver so muchyyy!!
I basically love all of their songs. but this one is so me right now so I'm going to write the lyrics here.
"See my eyes are watching
hear my heartbeat is pounding
whatever i do wherever
i go it's for you
see my days without you
i feel no shame in crying
whatever it takes you know that
i'll be with you
now that i see the light
now that i touch my light
now that i realize all i ever wanted is only you
now that i see the light (and life)
now that i touch my light (and life)
now that i realize all i ever wanted is only you
now that i realize"
-K-
a bit of the english lyrics of Your Scent by Gary & Jung In. and.... this is so me right now.
"I like you so much because of your human scent
I’m even more attracted to your clumsy appearance
If I hesitate, I might lose you
So I’m going crazy
Just like the sky looking like the sky
Just like the wind feeling like the wind
Just the way you are
Not made up in any way
I’m falling for that beauty"
I really want to hold your hands so badly right now.
I miss your scent.
I miss how your eyes are looking straight at mine.
I miss the way you smile.
I'm craving for that scent of you.
-K-
Hey! I'm so glad to be back, writing. I mean, typing. lol.
Soooo.......
I got an inspiration to write/type/whatever you call it from my instagram because lately these days I've been seeing a lot of people come to Australia for holidays. Its low season tbh. bcs its winteerrr! *freeze freeze* And.... they come to Movie World which reminds me of my childhood.
When I was around 4 or 5, I've been there, movie world. But now im getting a little bit jealous because they come there when they are 15 or 16 so they could play all of the games.
The only thing I could remember was the Scooby Doo one. Its an indoor roller coaster. It was scary but not-so-scary. Hahahahah.... and then I remember.... nothing. I'm very very sad that I couldn't remember what I played or what I did there. My mom remembered and she told me this and that....... Unfortunately, I can't remember anything except scooby doo.
I wish I could go there again sometimes and have fun like others..... 😊
Oh, One more one more!! Today is the day guys!
Shinzhu'i white concert with Apink, Sistar, and Soomin.
I hope I will have fun today....... because my Apink is now on my town and going to have a showcase this evening~~~ I'm so reaaaaddyyyyy!
Well that's it for now, I'm going to get myself ready for the concert today!
뿅뿅!
Bye! See ya next time!
So today,
My class teacher gave me (and my friends ofc) a homework. she told me (or us) to write about me, myself, and I on a "magic paper" (she called it like that) and it must be full!! tbh Im so lazy to write.... because... I like typing better.
I may be going to write a little there and tell her to read this blog...
Make sure you will read this, ms! :)
Monday.
tomorrow is monday.
I have to go to school.
but now, I'm scared to go.
something happened in the past.
it's something you can't erase.
I am excited too. because when you go to school it means that you're not with your parents and for me it's a good thing.
But, school makes me scared. makes me cry. makes me nervous.
I don't know how to deal with this anymore because it's too confusing.
When I think of school, all I think are stressful, not fun, scary, and any other negative thinks. And after I think of that, I would start to cry.
I'm actually happy for going back to school but at the same time I'm afraid.
I don't know how people could help me about this.
I want to talk to a counsellor or a phycologist but I don't know if I could because I don't open myself to other people..
I could only write on my blog, hoping someone read my blog, and hoping someone help me.
Hi guys!
Another thing happened in my life. Like seriously, if I don't know A Pink, Shinee, Exo, or others I may be have gone now. I basically hate my life. Because there's something. Something's not good. Really really bad.
Back again!
I just watched JeKrys' last week episode and there's a music video making scene that reminds me of my childhood. I've actually been on a music video which means I've experienced like what Krystal did on the episode. So, I'm thinking of sharing my experiences there...
Like what Krystal said, shooting a music video is so damnly tiring. You shoot it from dawn until the sun goes down again. You have to do your make-up first (of course its done by the make up artist) and keeping it for hours (I mean, you can't ruin your make up, right?), You have to wait for your return to be shoot, you have to repeat your shoot if it doesn't turn good, etc.
You know, if you have to repeat your shoot means you listen the songs in repeat too. That's why the singer will be get bored of your own songs. That's why when Krystal turn on SNSD's Mr. Mr. Jessica is like "하지마~~~~~~" the same with Krystal.
Of course I'm only an extra but the experience is kinda exciting because it's my 1st time. And that was like when I was still in primary school. I could be an extra because my dad is the producer of the song so he just let me be an extra there.
I think I couldn't tell you on which music video I'm in because it would be so damn embarrassing... hehehe I'm so sorry...
Thank you for reading my story...
I hope you guys could experience it soon! :)
xx.
-k-
"Brothers are people whom we can go through hardships together and help each other." -Lay
He left. We have to accept that. And we have to support him. We have to support both sides.
Anyway....
I know what it feels like. It's like you have to break your friendship. And I know that's hurt. Life is not easy as you think it is. Life is hard. That's why there are a lot of people who committed suicide.
People who can endure the hardness of this life are the best people. Like seriously, I'm a person who could not endure the hardness. I prove it once. I failed once. I've hit the bottom.
When I failed to endure it, I feel like I'm a loser. I just want to die. I wrote it on my diary "Why am I alive? and why I can't do anything?" I've quit school for like... 3 or 4 months, I think? I quit because I can't endure the hardness.
I'm not like kpop idols who could endure the hardness of training, seniority, being mocked, etc.
Yes, I'm a loser. But I don't want this to happen again with you guys. So, don't be a loser like me. Just don't. ☺
-K-
hiii I'm going to talk about me! yeay for you who doesnt know me ^^
first, I think I'm kinda introvert (a little). I'm kinda scared to meet or talk to new people. I always want to try but ended up not trying because I'm too scared. but, I love being on the stage. I've been doing some performances (eventhough it's only a mini performance) such as dancing. I love (literally obsessed with) glee (was) maybe not now (again) because the story now are kinda boring and doesn't match up which I think they're so random now... but still... I love their songs. ^^
for now, im kinda obsessed with kpop. from 2010/2011 I think... no one knows at that year. hahaha because I keep it secret (hm, guilty pleasure I think?) until I have bestfriends that like it too so I reveal it little by little from last year...
my fav group? hm... first its khj (an alien. HAHA NO) then.. 2pm & miss A. and SHINee then A Pink, CN Blue, WINNER, and EXO. but my ultimate group is A Pink. (you can call me a panda then. bcs whenever people are talking about panda/apink im going to look at the people, LOL) if you ask me which one is my bias.. then I cannot. they (each person) are just different.
I think that's enough about me. I just want to share my story about me ^^
catch me on twitter: @kaykirana (fanacc) and @kiranakay (personal acc) ♡
-k-
I was in the middle of my group presentation and then after that my teacher commented this on me... "you didn't seem serious while doing it." And i was just like.... "Yes that's really true." Hahahahaha lol.